 Content Pixie on Unsplash " style="width:auto;max-width:100%" /> Distress Tolerance and Emotional Avoidance
This week’s post is again inspired by clinical themes I have been seeing this month. At this point I have published enough yummy articles on my blog that they gorgeously cross reference and complement each other- in this way this topic is related to many others- so when it speaks to you and emotionally connects with you, I encourage you to pull the thread and browse some of the other topics and past blog articles. Today we are going to talk about the psychological concept of distress tolerance. In simple terms, this is our ability to stand still in a certain intensity of stress. I don’t mean change it, avoid it, or do anything with it- simply tolerate it. This underused but powerful skill allows our emotions to communicate their vital messages and naturally dissipate- freeing us to stand empowered in our lives to make better choices for our own happiness. It takes the power from variability and the unexpected and allows us large scale emotional peace and freedom. (I will give you the caveat that if you are in crisis, severe stress or worse, then tolerance is not your course of action. If you are unsure how this topic applies to your levels of stress, give me a call and let’s talk). In several past articles, I have referenced the biological function of emotions to communicate chemical signals and messages between the brain and body. In an ideal biological and natural sense, whenever we have an emotion we would fully express it and allow our brain and body to absorb its lesson (interested in the topic of the biological functioning of various emotions? Browse those past blog posts!) What happens instead is we feel emotions with an intensity we don’t like and avoid or bottle up, we absorb sociological lessons about which emotions we are allowed to express or not (different for males and females traditionally), we lose touch with what are emotions are, what they are telling us or how to feel or express them. This diversion has the unintended consequence of weakening our distress tolerance. What I am saying to you is our sociological adaptation to avoid emotions has weakened our ability to handle stress. This is unfortunately not to our advantage. Think about exercise as a parallel here. What we are doing is avoiding exercise because we don’t like it, which has the unintended consequence of making it harder for us to take the stairs when the elevator is out. Just like we build our muscles by slowly increasing our physical activity, we can regain our ability to tolerate stress by acknowledging and feeling emotions when they happen in smaller ways, and doing nothing else with them. Ultimately what our emotions “want” from us is to be felt without resistance. This allows them to fulfill their function. Emotions, as the communication signals they are, naturally crest and fall. If we don’t feed them, fight them etc, they communicate their signal in whatever intensity, then fall away. If we simply acknowledge and feel them they naturally dissipate. To begin repairing and strengthening your distress tolerance try a version of this exercise: pick precipitating events of small emotional weights and allow the accompanying feelings to crest and fall while you simply experience them and survive. As your distress tolerance builds in strength you begin to experience stronger and stronger stressors without becoming overwhelmed or destabilized. You are free to make choices about action or inaction and how you can better shape the variables in your life. The end consequence we are going for here is (as always) empowerment to create a life that is happy and fulfilling. How strong is your distress tolerance? What are your personal patterns of emotional avoidance? Want to regain control and build towards more peace and happiness in your life? I can help! (C) 2021 Creatively, LLC  Hello, Creatives! Finally, some warm weather with the promise of Spring in Maryland. I hope you are getting outside and feeling inspired (remember the “Getting Inspired with Mindfulness” post? Worth a re-read). This month, I want to help you capitalize on the powerful impact nature and weather has on us and our creative process and how to use that important “change energy.”
Remember, Creative, you are sensitive, and you are sensory. You have strong emotional reactions to many things, and are very impacted by information coming in to your sensory system (sights, sounds, textures, smells, tastes). This is especially powerful because during a time of change our senses are more heightened to absorption (think jumping in a cold pool on a hot day- those first few seconds are potent!) All totaled, you have a powerful stream of energy to tap into during this “change energy.” And- the best, most mindful way to capitalize on this energy, is to get into it! I want you to physically put yourself into this energy stream and take what nature is offering you- like the plants stretching and unrolling their leaves into the warm sunlight after a long winter- absorb the energy and refill your stores. Biologically it is needed, emotionally it is healthy and creatively it is regenerative. This is so powerful! Here are some ideas that might help you in your efforts:
And finally, of course, Creativity Therapy can help! You are worth it. The life you will live when you do the work is worth it. Natural periods of potent energy like this are an ideal time to start working changes in your life, and I’m here to help! (C) 2021 Creatively, LLC  Hello Wonderful Creative Clients!
Creatively enjoyed a "soft" reopening over the Summer, but we will be returning to a virtual-services-only schedule effective today, August 22, 2020, until January, 2021, for the health and safety of our community due to the ongoing and unpredictable nature of COVID-19 at this time. This is subject to change and any further changes will be shared on social media, my website and via the Creatively newsletter. You can sign up for the Creatively newsletter on the homepage. Details about how to use telehealth, and the fine print details about this service, are available on the client portal for existing clients, and/or by clicking the button below. I know these are tough times, and if you are not connected to therapy, and are thinking about it, I am here to help- please reach out through the contact page. There are also lots of great *free* resources through this blog- take advantage!! They are here for you! Yours in wellness and creativity, Cindy  Hello Wonderful Creatively Clients!
This week it has been 3 months since we have closed our doors at Creatively, due to an unprecedented, global health crisis. It has been a scary, uncertain time full of survival, challenge and unknown. We all have individual stories in a complex web of universal experience of this terrible pandemic, all doing the best we know how. I am excited, worried, protective of mine, yours and all of us, but mostly hopeful, to announce, that in this third-month-a-versary, as throughout Howard County, Maryland and beyond, things begin to reopen, I will slowly and carefully do the same. Just like my closing involved several announcements and steps, I will surely do so in reopening, and this announcement will be number one of more to come. For now- this post outlines my plan: Out of an abundance of caution, and the ability to provide services over the internet, I will be maintaining the vast majority of appointments as telehealth services for now. That means, for those of you that are comfortable and able to continue receiving your services from me over the telehealth, I ask you to continue to do so. For those of you whose occupations and/or whose loved ones’ occupations put you in a category of higher risk of exposure to COVID-19, I also ask you to continue with telehealth appointments at this time. I will be opening a limited number of in-person appointments starting June 20. They will be prioritized based upon need. Factors considered will be things like insurance that temporarily approved coverage of telehealth services terming that coverage as businesses reopen, or clinical necessity as deemed by both of us. If these things are impacting you, you are the reason I am opening in person sessions. Please do not hesitate to ask me for my next in-person appointment. If you are seeking to resume in-person sessions, there are some things we need to talk about. All in-person sessions during a pandemic assume a certain level of risk. As such, I will be asking you to review and sign an informed consent about this risk. All in person appointment attendees will be asked to wear a mask, wash/disinfect their hands before entering the appointment, answer a brief health questionnaire, maintain social distance at all times, and wait for their scheduled appointment in their cars rather than the waiting room. You can review all this information, as well as other requirements and the health questionnaire by clicking the button below. If you are ready for your in person visit, I will be so happy to see you. If you are ready to continue your virtual visits, I will be so happy to see you. I am optimistic about a healthy future and proud of you for surviving this uncertain time together. Yours in health and creativity, Cindy  It was probably a year or more ago I authored a post on coping skills, titled, “Stop Coping,” (that post can be found here) urging you to look for areas you were settling in or becoming avoidant with overused coping skills. I suggested you discard what wasn’t functional anymore in your life, in order to push yourself forward. Today, in a very different world than the stage set for that advice, we are going to reexamine coping skills, look at their function, and help you help yourself to know when they are needed (and give yourself the permission to use them!)
Coping skills are to create emotional, psychological and even physical boundaries around something in order to survive it. In other words, a coping does not fix anything, it just allows us to survive that thing. By definition, coping skills are best applied to things that we cannot fix, or at least, not right now, or definitely not all at once. They are a tool to allow us to continue on until we can mindfully accept what we cannot change, and change what we can. The key principle, erring on the side of giving you cliche advice, is knowing the difference between these two. What can you change? If you can change it, don’t forever cope with it (see article from 1 year or so ago). If you can’t change it, do what you can to cope with it- ultimately with the goal of not emotionally resisting your experience to it (because in the resistance lies the suffering). In a globally gridlocked situation, such as a pandemic, we are falling into category 2 in many ways. Give yourself permission please, to cope. Release yourself from high expectations, perfectionism, overly goal oriented behavior, knowing you can return to that and that your ability and skills to achieve will be there waiting for you when you need them. Allow yourself to maintain what is important (read: self care, structure, routine, support system) and do what is otherwise healthy to cope. Unsure what coping skills mean for you? I recommend to all my clients to have a written list of these prepared for themselves at all times. They can be wide and varied from distraction techniques, to self soothing, to personal development, to (of course) creative practices and more- this is something that time in counseling can be used to build- personalized for your use. (C) 2020 Creatively, LLC  Hello, Beautiful, Strong, Creative Minds! We are entering into (depending how you are counting) week four or so of this health crisis in Maryland. Many of us are feeling patience wearing thin, cabin fever growing strong, hairs on our head growing unruly, and overall uncertainty and impatience waxing. I have been meeting with many of you virtually from my home office, and the emotional toll from many sources has been mostly universal- we are so in this together! In that spirit, this month on the Creatively blog, I want to share 3 main recommendations I have been sharing to survive this crisis and support your creative mind in the best possible way.
Some fine print: my goal is always to support you in your own effort to manage this crisis with your existing support network in place (need a support network? Scrap this article and start there. Not sure where to start? Feel yourself approaching crisis? For a mental health emergency you can STILL CALL 911. Urgent, not emergent? A list of operating mental health urgent resources can be found at the bottom of the page here.) The steps: Step 1: Integrate Strong Emotions Remember, a creative mind is a passionate mind. It is natural for you to have strong emotions. That means you are likely to be having strong emotional reactions to strong emotional events. That is ok! Mindfulness says the most emotional pain we experience is out of the resistance of an emotional experience rather than the emotional experience itself. In other words, give yourself permission to experience your powerful emotions. Build support around yourself and talk through and express how you are feeling. Those that are emotionally doing the best in this crisis are those that are not resisting the experience. That is not to say they like or are in agreement with things, but it is to say they understand their current variables and have adapted and are integrated to working within them. It is the frequently used sailing analogy within mindfulness- know what forces you cannot change, and by accepting them as such, you now have the freedom to utilize them to get where you want to go and operate within them. This crisis is happening. Integrate. Feel. Support your feelings. Now what are your choices? Step 2: Make Meaning with Daily Creative Practice Your creative brain craves meaning making. In fact, one of the most important ways you will feel grounded and stay emotionally well in your life is through finding meaning in your experiences. The reverse is also true- creative people commonly fall into emotional difficulty when they struggle to find meaning in experiences. By knowing this, you can harness its power into creating positive forces in your life. For this reason, the world often looks to artists for meaning in experiences throughout history. What is happening in the world right now is historical. How will you satisfy your creative need to make meaning? Spend energy here and watch yourself transform your own experience. Oh- and by the way- if you know me or have read or followed enough of what I have said on Creatively, you know by now my other rule about your creative practice- do it EVERY day! Commit to your daily creative practice every day as your search and investment in making meaning from these experiences. Step 3: Expect Much Less While Doing Much More I can’t tell you how many sessions in the past few weeks have started something like this, “I feel like I should be [creatively] doing so much more...” Let me try to put your mind at ease: We are in a global health crisis. Coping with living through this is doing plenty. Your brain is doing lots of things that just doesn’t produce as much right now. You have to allow for this. This is the rule of crisis. Allow yourself to expect less of yourself. Understand that though it may not always feel like it (though it certainly may!) you are doing so much more, it just is likely to produce much less. That is ok. It is expected. It is not forever. You are basically running uphill. More effort and energy is required than on a flat surface and it feels way less productive and way harder. But- a downhill follows- and your body gains strength from the uphill battle. So- keep pushing- and tell yourself you are doing well! I see you over there- hanging in there, struggling, not giving up, day after day. So these are the 3 steps, Creative! Follow, rinse, repeat. Keep your wheels on the ground. Get through one day, go to bed, then get through the next one. I was recently re-inspired by a Caroline Casey quote, “You must hunger and be fully outside of something to truly know it.” Our return to former normal will be so wonderful and we will know it like we never did before. I look forward the most, to that. Creatives, if you are struggling, I understand, and I am here for you. I am offering a variety of services to try to support as many needs as one creativity counselor can- so don’t hesitate to reach out and we can talk. Strength to each of you ✨✨ Cindy (C) 2020 Creatively, LLC  Hello, Creative! This afternoon, Sunday, March 15, in Howard County, home-base for Creatively, Executive Calvin Ball announced the first case of COVID-19 in the County and declared a County-wide state of emergency. He signed an executive order closing for at least 7 days business locations including the Mall at Columbia, along with adjacent businesses in the mall complex. Two weeks ago I introduced Creatively’s COVID preparedness plan and effective today, Saturday, March 15, in action with Executive Ball’s executive order implementing at midnight tonight, Creatively, LLC physical offices will close and ALL APPOINTMENTS TRANSFER TO TELEHEALTH AT THIS TIME. This plan remains in effect until Howard County receives different guidance from the local authorities. Though this is currently for 7 days, this is a rapidly evolving situation and subject to change. Please take a moment to review the updated info, and some reviewed info. Understand that I will continue to share any changes to Creatively’s response as needed and update all of you via email, text, social media and this website. First, the facts. Maryland as of March 5 has been declared in a state of emergency by Governor Hogan, and as of the week of March 8th the first case of community spread of the virus has been confirmed in the State. Today, Sunday, March 15, the first case of the virus was confirmed in Howard County- but- this does NOT mean you should panic. The focus of the current response is to contain further spread. Up to date information on what you need to know can be found here: Maryland Health Department Website- Coronavirus Following the medical and hygiene recommendations and any other preparatory steps of the health department as they evolve are your best pathway to staying safe. Current recommendations focus on social distancing, e.g.- stay home as much as you can! EFFECTIVE SUNDAY, MARCH 15, ALL CREATIVELY APPOINTMENTS TRANSFER TO TELEHEALTH: You will still have your regularly scheduled appointment time if you have an existing appointment. All you need available to you is a microphone and video enabled device (cellphones, tablets, computers all should work) with a wireless or WiFi signal. Comcast is extending free internet to support social distancing if you are in need of internet service. At the time of your appointment I will text you a unique link to start your session- all you have to do is click the link from your device to join. Please be sure you have given permission to your browser on your device to use the microphone and camera. I will be emailing you a one-time-only informed consent document to review and sign for telehealth. For additional details on telehealth and to see a copy of the informed consent document, please click on the link at the end of this article that reads “more information for telehealth sessions.” To reach me between sessions: I recommend texting my business cell phone 443-741-2294 or emailing me cindy@creativelyllc.com . Remember to contact me primarily about scheduling- for urgent mental health resources, there is a list available here Third, we need to talk about taking care of your emotional and mental wellbeing during times of national and global stress. This is so crucial because elevations in stress can in fact decrease the capacity of your immune system to function and protect you. It is normal and natural to feel stress during stressful times- there is nothing wrong with this response. What we don't want to do is live in high stress levels and get caught in cognitive loops that elevate them further. Instead, I encourage you to take time to be aware of and nonjudgementally notice your experience of your stress levels. Ask yourself, as you would ask a small child, what do you need in order to return to an emotional baseline and feel soothed? Not attending to and minimizing stressful emotions will likely make them worse. A blog article walking you through an exercise to help you self care your anxiety can be found here: Listening to your Instincts Self care pairs nicely with this article on self soothing exercises for high levels of anxiety- step-by-step instructions here: Safe Place and Self Soothing Finally, if you need an appointment and don’t have one, please don't hesitate to reach out- that is what I am here for! The world is full of chaos and the unexpected. Ultimately trusting ourselves, our resources and our support system, we will weather the storm. Live well, Creative! (And wash and scrub those creative hands!) Cindy Live Life Creatively, Cindy Cisneros, LCPC-S, LPC (C) 2020 Creatively, LLC More information for telehealth sessions Hello, Creative! We have new updates and recommendations from our authorities in Maryland from the developing situation surrounding the Coronavirus, or COVID-19. This week Governor Hogan confirmed the first case of confirmed community spread of the virus. Last week I introduced Creatively’s COVID preparedness plan. This plan still stands- I am making updates today to the timeline of its implementation regarding what we currently know. Please take a moment to review the updated info, and some reviewed info. Understand that I will continue to share any changes to Creatively’s response as needed an update all of you via email, text, social media and this website. First, the facts. COVID-19 is in Maryland, and Maryland as of March 5 has been declared in a state of emergency by Governor Hogan, and as of the week of March 8th the first case of community spread of the virus has been confirmed in the State- but- this does NOT mean you should panic. The focus of the current response is to contain further spread. Up to date information on what you need to know can be found here: Maryland Health Department Website- Coronavirus Following the medical and hygiene recommendations and any other preparatory steps of the health department as they evolve are your best pathway to staying safe. Second, the preparedness plan is going into place at Creatively. Though as of today, March 13, there is no official recommendation for counseling businesses to close by authorities, my focus is to cooperate in the State’s efforts of public safety to reduce the spread of COVID-19. I also understand that losing your counseling support is not in your best interest. For weekend appointments on Saturday, March 14: Liberal application of telehealth applied, in office visits still available where appropriate. If you are healthy, have not come into direct contact with anyone who is sick meeting diagnostic criteria for Coronavirus, and feel safe and able, you are welcome to come into the office for your appointment. I will be in the office for appointments this Saturday. If you do not meet this criteria, or prefer to stay at home per your own planning, you may notify me via text or email that you wish to attend your appointment via telehealth. In the event that you wish to have a telehealth session, please click on the link at the end of this article that reads “more information for telehealth sessions.” For those of you attending in person office visits, I will be cleaning my office chairs, doors, tissue boxes, cushions, and other frequently touched surfaces between each client. I am relying on you to follow CDC recommendations for health and hygiene. I will also be recommending seating within the office to maximize the social distancing recommendations. Third, we need to talk about taking care of your emotional and mental wellbeing during times of national and global stress. This is so crucial because elevations in stress can in fact decrease the capacity of your immune system to function and protect you. It is normal and natural to feel stress during stressful times- there is nothing wrong with this response. What we don't want to do is live in high stress levels and get caught in cognitive loops that elevate them further. Instead, I encourage you to take time to be aware of and nonjudgementally notice your experience of your stress levels. Ask yourself, as you would ask a small child, what do you need in order to return to an emotional baseline and feel soothed? Not attending to and minimizing stressful emotions will likely make them worse. A blog article walking you through an exercise to help you self care your anxiety can be found here: Listening to your Instincts Self care pairs nicely with this article on self soothing exercises for high levels of anxiety- step-by-step instructions here: Safe Place and Self Soothing Finally, please don't hesitate to reach out- that is what I am here for! The world is full of chaos and the unexpected. Ultimately trusting ourselves, our resources and our support system, we will weather the storm. Live well, Creative! (And wash and scrub those creative hands!) Cindy Live Life Creatively, Cindy Cisneros, LCPC-S, LPC (C) 2020 Creatively, LLC More info about telehealth sessions👇
 Hello, Creative! Welcome to March. There is a lot of anxiety in the world lately surrounding the increasing spread of the Coronavirus, or COVID-19. Following the release last night of Governor Hogan's statement of the first 3 confirmed cases in the state of Maryland, anxiety is likely to increase for many. I understand- there are still a lot of unknowns. So this month, while on social media we are enjoying "getting to know Creatively," this month's blog is focused on preparedness physically and mentally, as well as Creatively's own preparedness plan for COVID-19.
First, the facts. Yes, COVID-19 is in Maryland, and Maryland as of March 5 has been declared in a state of emergency by Governer Hogan- but- this does NOT mean you should panic. Up to date information on what you need to know can be found here: Maryland Health Department Website- Coronavirus Following the medical and hygiene recommendations and any other preperatory steps of the health department as they evolve are your best pathway to staying safe. Second, there is a preparedness plan in place at Creatively. In the event of any type of quarentine, shelter in place, reduced activity, etc recommendation by local authorities to reduce the spread of COVID-19, I understand that losing your counseling support is not in your best interest. But, I will also be following the recommendations of local authorities and closing the physical offices at Creatively. Instead, I will be available to you as scheduled for your appointments via telehealth. If this preparedness plan goes into action, you will receive text and email alerts from me that the physical office space has been closed and all appointments have been converted into telehealth. All you need to do is reply via text or email to confirm your appointment. At the time your appointment is scheduled to begin, I will text you a unique link to start your appointment. Telehealth appointments are HIPAA compliant, encrypted, and covered by the insurance policies that I accept. Please feel free to contact me if you have questions about this plan. You may, of course, enact this plan for yourself by contacting me and changing your appointment to telehealth per your own judgement and safety planning. Third, we need to talk about taking care of your emotional and mental wellbeing during times of national and global stress. This is so crucial because elevations in stress can in fact decrease the capacity of your immune system to function and protect you. It is normal and natural to feel stress during stressful times- there is nothing wrong with this response. What we don't want to do is live in high stress levels and get caught in cognitive loops that elevate them further. Instead, I encourage you to take time to be aware of and nonjudgementally notice your experience of your stress levels. Ask yourself, as you would ask a small child, what do you need in order to return to an emotional baseline and feel soothed? Not attending to and minimizing stressful emotions will likely make them worse. A blog article walking you through an exercise to help you self care your anxiety can be found here: Listening to your Instincts Self care pairs nicely with this article on self soothing exercises for high levels of anxiety- step-by-step instructions here: Safe Place and Self Soothing Finally, please don't hesitate to reach out- that is what I am here for! The world is full of chaos and the unexpected. Ultimately trusting ourselves, our resources and our support system, we will weather the storm. Live well, Creative! (And wash and scrub those creative hands!) Cindy Live Life Creatively, Cindy Cisneros, LCPC-S, LPC (C) 2020 Creatively, LLC We are one week away from a very special day for me at Creatively at the Columbia Art Center- the reception for the opening of my show The Nature of Nurture- Paintings by Cindy Cisneros. In the spirit of taking creative risks this February, I am inviting all of you at Creatively to join me on the day of my opening on Saturday February 8 from 2p-4p. Experience Columbia Art Center and learn about opportunities there. Come enjoy my exhibit !: “Local landscapes and moments from motherhood through the eyes of a working mom, illustrating how far we will go for our little ones and the moments that capture our hearts.” I would love to see you there!   |
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The information provided in this blog is from my own clinical experiences and training. It is intended to supplement your clinical care. Never make major life changes before consulting with your treatment team. If you are unsure of your safety or wellbeing, do not hesitate to get help immediately.
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