 Creativity Counseling for BalanceHello, Creatives! I have been so inspired lately by reading the work of Eric Maisel and today I want to discuss one of the themes from his work about creating holistically. This idea has such a beautiful tie-in to creating well, and wellness in your life. The overall fluidity of the concept is so simple and lovely. Creativity Coaching Embracing DualitiesLet’s start where we left off: with the idea of duality and embracing both sides of dualistic forces. If you remember from a previous Creatively blog we explored common dualistic pairs: polarized thought traps artists can get stuck in (process vs product, idea vs expression, discipline vs flexibility, being vs doing and so many more!) We explored our tendencies to over-invest in one aspect of these pairs and by so doing neglecting the other. By recognizing that each of these pairs had an opposite, we were able to understand that both of them were equally valid and important parts of the creative process and that both may be called upon at any time. Counseling for Creative People to Work HolisticallyWorking holistically is the logical next step from here. To work holistically we are essentially shucking the concept of duality altogether. We are rejecting any type of nomenclature for our work- instead we are being open to the moment, exactly as it is, exactly as we are- asking ourselves simultaneously- “what does my art” and “what do I need in this moment?” To work holistically, we are requiring of ourselves to be present, open, and mindful in our work. Sound familiar? Online Coaching for Creatives to Develop a Holistic PracticeIt takes effort to arrive at a place where we can work holistically. It takes knowing and understanding what our knee-jerk processes might be when we create, including avoidance tendencies, preferences, and motivations. Do we choose the same subject matter or materials out of safety? Do we use the same inspiration out of fear of failure or changes? Working holistically requires us to say we have no preferences and come to our work fresh and able to give it and ourselves whatever is necessary and best. Creativity Coaching and Creativity Counseling for ArtistsThere is important work to be done here. What fears do you have about your creativity? What excuses or avoidance are holding you back? What dualities do you default to? In a recent create well minute cast (#37 if you want to listen) I called you to an exercise- let’s expand upon it: Get yourself a piece of paper and pen. We are going to make some lists: 1) If I were to tell you to go create in this very moment (right now!) why can’t you? Why won’t you? What is preventing you? List everything. Logistics. Money. Tools. Abilities. Everything you feel is in your way from doing something creative right now. Hold nothing back. When you are done, label this list “avoidance/excuses.” (#realtalk!) 2) If I were to tell you to go take your work public (to a show, open mic, gallery, publisher, friend, etc- keep going through opportunities until you find some resistance) why wouldn’t you do this? List all the reasons holding you back. Include internal reasons like feelings, self esteem, value statements about self and work. Take your time to be thorough. When you are done, label this list “fears.” 3) What absolutes and values can you identify about your creative process? For example- “I am process oriented,” or “my work is figurative,” or “I value technique highly,” or “my work is non-commercial,” etc and so on- make a list describing what absolutes and values define your work. This is a tough one so give yourself time to think it through. When you are done, label this list “dualities.” Creativity Coaching and Counseling for Creative People HolisticallyYou have just identified for yourself three major categories of obstacles between you and holistic creating. Good job! Once you know what your obstacles are, you can identify yourself gravitating towards these old patterns and choose a different path. It takes time and repetition to train your brain towards new behaviors, and starts with recognizing old behaviors so you can not choose those. Counseling for Creative People has Holistic BenefitsThe power of working holistically is creating your best work and living your best life, because you are creating and living on life’s terms, not yours (and flexibility is a psychological and creative super power!) It is liberating because you are giving yourself endless options and freedoms. Unsurprisingly it starts with knowing that creative brain, your personal creative self, and a healthy dose of mindfulness. You can build holistic practices into your life today by taking one of these steps: 1) Book a Free Consultation. All new clients to Creatively, LLC are entitled to a 15 min, free consultation to sit with me and discuss your needs, services available, and we can problem solve and hand-pick best next steps to help you succeed. 2) Book a Coaching Package. Are you a working Creative in need of specific support? I offer a range of Coaching Packages- let's get started with one that is right for you. (C) 2022 Creatively, LLC www.creativelyllc.com More Articles for Creative People Like This Therapy Skills for Creatives: AnxietyA key part of Creativity Counseling is helping you roll with your powerful feelings, not struggle against them. Along with these strong feelings is a powerful energy stream, and often for Creative People, this can be experienced as anxiety, anticipation, or otherwise angst. You may regularly find yourself having difficulty relaxing, making choices, settling into your creative work, starting projects and staying focused because of this high vibration energy. Mother Nature has given it to you to support your creativity, and, in fact it will while you are working, but it can also take up so much of your executive functioning so as to cause difficulty. Step One: AwarenessIn a similar vein to mindfulness, the first thing you need as a Creative Person, is to understand that you have a unique creative personality, and what that means for you. Creative People experience emotions on an expanded scale, so it is important to understand that, and reasonable to apply that to yourself in this situation. What is your individual experience of emotions? How do you experience anxiety, anticipation, or high energy emotions like this?  Step Two: ObserveOnce you have thought about and tried to understand your experience of anxiety, spend some time trying to recognize when it happens throughout the day. When are some of your common anxiety pitfalls or higher energy periods that become obstacles? Do you regularly wake up in the morning with an overflow of adrenaline? Do you wake throughout the night this way? How about when making choices? Make some observations when it happens, and how it feels, so that as it occurs, you recognize it is happening. Step Three: What are your Feelings Telling you?Emotions are chemical signals from the body to the brain. For Creative People, they are powerful signals. We don’t want to ignore them. Once you are aware of them happening, your next step is to understand the message, knowing that only sometimes the message will be useful. Waking up in the middle of the night, with anxiety about everything you need to do tomorrow, is not useful. The anxiety is “trying” to help you prevent catastrophe, but isn’t helping, really. It is just sleep depriving you. Anticipatory anxiety before you sit down to work is showing up to help you have energy to work. Sometimes it overwhelms you and “freezes” you to the point you feel you can’t begin, but if you recognize the purpose is to “fuel” you, you may be able to use the energy to push through and get started. This process of discovery can be complicated, difficult, and is time well spent in Creativity Counseling. Step Four: When you Don’t Need the Anxious EnergyIf you have done steps one through three, and have evaluated when anxious or high-level energy is not serving you, or also not dissipating, this is when you move on to step four. This step assumes you are doing background care for yourself and your creativity for overall wellness and stability. Need help and clarification on background care? I am here for that, too. Step four is the implementation of on-the-spot techniques to soothe yourself, recognizing your feelings, and allowing them to release without fighting them. This sounds a lot like mindfulness, and I am a big believer in those methods. However, what I have come to realize, is there is some tweaking needed for your Creative Brain.  Mindfulness for Creative PeopleOver the years I have taught and used Mindfulness Techniques, I have found some difficulties both for myself and my creative clients. The techniques seem to work sometimes, but not all the time. They are a good beginning, but depending on the intensity of the situation, can fall short. What has become clear to me is, once again, that this is due to the unique expanded emotional capacity of your Creative Mind. As Creative People, you experience emotions very powerfully, so much so, that techniques, like mindfulness, functional for a typical emotional presentation, may fall short for you. I have found that using the same ideas and incorporating your creativity is the key to success in managing your emotional load. Powerful Feelings in Creative PeopleBasic principles of Mindfulness tell us to recognize our feelings to examine our needs, and meet them if necessary. Mindfulness also requires us to stay present with our feelings as they ebb and flow like a wave, and release us from their grip. I believe the success to this for Creative People lies in also incorporating a Creative Intervention that allows you to stay present mindfully, while engaging your creative muscles. I have designed one such intervention that is simple, yet impactful, for you to try. Creatively Mindful InterventionWhen you have completed steps 1-3 above, and notice yourself in step 4, try this intervention, a combination of Mindfulness Techniques, and an engagement of your creativity:
Therapy for Creative People Makes a DifferenceBy engaging your Creativity and using tried and true methods like Mindfulness, you will begin to experience the relief and ease in your life you have been searching for. Creative People are powerful, and understanding and knowing how your mind works, is crucial to giving it the care that you need. Start Creativity Counseling or Creativity Coaching today: 1) Book a Free Consultation. All new clients to Creatively, LLC are entitled to a 15 min, free consultation to sit with me and discuss your needs, services available, and we can problem solve and hand-pick best next steps to help you succeed. 2) Book a Coaching Package. Are you a working Creative in need of specific support? I offer a range of Coaching Packages- let's get started with one that is right for you. Read More for Creative People Like This Originally Written and Inspired by Artists During the COVID-19 PandemicThis is a blog post that was written originally in 2020, shortly after the COVID-19 pandemic officially came to the USA and lockdowns started happening for the first time. We were entering into week four or so of the health crisis in Maryland. Many of us were feeling patience wearing thin, cabin fever growing strong, hairs on our head growing unruly, and overall uncertainty and impatience waxing. I had been meeting with clients virtually from my home office, and for the first time both watching and experiencing the emotional toll from the same stressors as my clients. In that spirit, on the Creatively blog, I composed the 3 main recommendations I was sharing to survive a crisis and support healthy creative minds in the best possible way, during the early stages of the pandemic. Priorities when Managing a CrisisMy goal is always to support you in your own effort to manage a crisis with your existing support network in place (need a support network? Scrap this article and start there. Not sure where to start? Feel yourself approaching crisis? For a mental health emergency you can STILL CALL 911. Urgent, not emergent? A list of operating mental health urgent resources can be found here under "urgent resources".) Three Steps for Creative Minds to Manage a CrisisThese three steps are specifically designed for Creative Minds, to help stabilize yourself during a crisis. They will not "fix" the crisis, nor are they for urgent or emergent problems (see "priorities" above). They are meant to help you roll with the powerful emotions that are a part of your creative brain, make meaning from what has suddenly interrupted your personal storyline, and readjust your expectations during a difficult time. Let's go a little more in depth to each one of these:  Step One: Integrate Strong EmotionsRemember, a creative mind is a passionate mind. It is natural for you to have strong emotions. That means you are likely to be having strong emotional reactions to strong emotional events. That is ok! Mindfulness says the most emotional pain we experience is out of the resistance of an emotional experience rather than the emotional experience itself. In other words, give yourself permission to experience your powerful emotions. Build support around yourself and talk through and express how you are feeling. Those that are emotionally doing the best in this crisis are those that are not resisting the experience. That is not to say they like or are in agreement with things, but it is to say they understand their current variables and have adapted and are integrated to working within them. It is the frequently used sailing analogy within mindfulness- know what forces you cannot change, and by accepting them as such, you now have the freedom to utilize them to get where you want to go and operate within them. This crisis is happening. Integrate. Feel. Support your feelings. Now what are your choices? Step Two: Make Meaning with Daily Creative PracticeYour creative brain craves meaning making. In fact, one of the most important ways you will feel grounded and stay emotionally well in your life is through finding meaning in your experiences. The reverse is also true- creative people commonly fall into emotional difficulty when they struggle to find meaning in experiences. By knowing this, you can harness its power into creating positive forces in your life. For this reason, the world often looks to artists for meaning in experiences throughout history. What is happening in the world right now is historical. How will you satisfy your creative need to make meaning? Spend energy here and watch yourself transform your own experience. Oh- and by the way- if you know me or have read or followed enough of what I have said on Creatively, you know by now my other rule about your creative practice- do it EVERY day! Commit to your daily creative practice every day as your search and investment in making meaning from these experiences. Step Three: Expect Much Less While Doing Much MoreI can’t tell you how many sessions in the past few weeks have started something like this, “I feel like I should be [creatively] doing so much more...” Let me try to put your mind at ease: You are in a crisis. Coping with living through it is doing plenty. Your brain is doing lots of things that just doesn’t produce as much right now. You have to allow for this. This is the rule of crisis. Allow yourself to expect less of yourself. Understand that though it may not always feel like it (though it certainly may!) you are doing so much more, it just is likely to produce much less. That is ok. It is expected. It is not forever. You are basically running uphill. More effort and energy is required than on a flat surface and it feels way less productive and way harder. But- a downhill follows- and your body gains strength from the uphill battle. So- keep pushing- and tell yourself you are doing well! I see you over there- hanging in there, struggling, not giving up, day after day. Every Day is its Own DaySo these are the 3 steps, Creative! Follow, rinse, repeat. Keep your wheels on the ground. Get through one day, go to bed, then get through the next one. I was recently re-inspired by a Caroline Casey quote, “You must hunger and be fully outside of something to truly know it.” Your return to former normal will be so wonderful and you will know it like you never did before. Look forward the most, to that. Creativity Counseling During a CrisisCreatives, if you are struggling, I understand, and I am here for you. I am offering a variety of services to try to support as many needs as one creativity counselor can- so don’t hesitate to reach out and we can talk. Here are three ways we can connect, right now:
1) Join my Artists in Residency Program. This is a Free, Online Community of Artists where you can build support, accountability and a network of Creative People as a stepping stone towards reconnecting and committing to your authentic, creative self. 2) Book a Free Consultation. All new clients to Creatively, LLC are entitled to a 15 min, free consultation to sit with me and discuss your needs, services available, and we can problem solve and hand-pick best next steps to help you succeed. 3) Book a Coaching Package. Are you a working Creative in need of specific support? I offer a range of Coaching Packages- let's get started with one that is right for you.  Gaslighting and your Fear of SuccessArtists- this is a loaded subject that could use so many blog posts- and maybe I will write many more. But let’s dive in. I have much to say. What is Gaslighting?In the simplest terms, gaslighting is when your narrative is stolen by another voice. It is when you begin to question your own reality, based upon the willful (usually) manipulation by someone else. You feel convicted and clarity turn to doubts and confusion, because of feedback from external sources. How to Recognize GaslightingThere are classic phrases that you can use to recognize gaslighting, such as “why do you always” and “you are so emotional,” and “can’t you just,” but the theme here is your reality is cast into doubt by blame, accusation or otherwise discrediting you. Oftentimes we hear about gaslighting in relationships. Gaslighting also exists in groups- communities, families or even societal groups question or weaken each other’s points of view in order to elevate their own. Gaslighting is never ok.  Gaslighting in the Arts CommunitySometimes gaslighting comes from insecurity and the insidious need to elevate oneself. Other times, gaslighting comes from cultural, familial or societal misunderstandings that become handed down that serve one body of people over another in some way. I believe both exist in the arts community, but the second more than the first is what I have seen most often. There is a lack of information and some broken systems that persist and we continue to believe in. While gaslighting does infer that the perpetrating party is aware of the misinformation and manipulation, even if they are not, the impact to you as the artist, is the same. So for the sake of the next illustrations, we may believe that the parties precipitating the gaslighting behaviors may know better (true gaslighting), or may not (inadvertent or accidental). Gaslighting and your Creative PersonalityYour Creative Personality is important and powerful. It features aspects such as powerful impulses, strong feelings, the need to making meaning, and above all, be creative. Nature has packaged these and other aspects together for you in your personality to prepare you for the enormous energy required to be innovative. However, this is not widely supported in the mental health or medical communities, nor many others (like professional, educational and more.) The result? Creative people are led to believe their emotions are “too much,” their impulses “too strong,” and their creative drives are marginalized. They lead lives that are frustrated, derailed, and misunderstood. I believe this is more an example of misinformation and inadvertent gaslighting behaviors, and more education for social groups and individuals would benefit all! Gaslighting and the Value of your CreativityArtists are regularly undervalued for their creativity. In the marketplace, they are underpaid for their products, in business underpaid for their work. They are regularly told by peers, friends and family they “won’t make any money,” and requests to do work “for free,” are common. This is more purposeful gaslighting because it serves those that perpetuate it! As artists, you are led to believe that your creativity is not valuable, not to charge for or believe in your services, and generally undervalue this most precious part of yourself. What about successful professional artists? How did they get there? Believe, a big part of it was changing this narrative for themselves! Gaslighting and the Fear of SuccessRegularly in Creativity Counseling and Creativity Coaching, we are battling this insidious topic of fear of success. It tends to branch off in one of two main ways: afraid of the life changes that come with succeeding wildly, or fear of seeing what you are truly capable of, including your limitations, when you put your best effort forward. When society, friends and family regularly feed us as artists a narrative that artists fail and our creative work is only worthy of a “hobby,” we are feeding this horrible fear of success. We are giving ourselves messages like “why try?” And “so much is at risk I can’t afford to risk it!” But- if you search your soul deeply- is this also what you believe? Counseling for Artists & Creativity Coaching for GaslightingAn important function of Creativity Counseling in Maryland and Virginia and Creativity Coaching in the US, UK and Canada is to recognize how our belief systems have been impacted by our lives and those around us. Separating beliefs from those created by our lives vs those innate to us is powerful work. Living authentic to yourself is powerful and your path to happiness and success. Start Creativity Counseling & Creativity Coaching for GaslightingIf you are interested in real, impactful and lasting life change for your creative mind, I would love to help you. Let's connect and launch your life to the next level! I have three steps you can take, right now from my site if you are ready to take an important step forward in your life: 1) Join my Artists in Residency Program. This is a Free, Online Community of Artists where you can build support, accountability and a network of Creative People as a stepping stone towards reconnecting and committing to your authentic, creative self. 2) Book a Free Consultation. All new clients to Creatively, LLC are entitled to a 15 min, free consultation to sit with me and discuss your needs, services available, and we can problem solve and hand-pick best next steps to help you succeed. 3) Book a Coaching Package. Are you a working Creative in need of specific support? I offer a range of Coaching Packages- let's get started with one that is right for you. (c) 2022 Creatively, LLC
www.creativelyllc.com  Coping Skills are a Temporary FixIt was probably a year or more ago I authored a post on coping skills, titled, “Stop Coping,” (that post can be found here) urging you to look for areas you were settling in or becoming avoidant with overused coping skills. I suggested you discard what wasn’t functional anymore in your life, in order to push yourself forward. Today, in a very different world than the stage set for that advice, we are going to reexamine coping skills, look at their function, and help you help yourself to know when they are needed (and give yourself the permission to use them!) Definition of Coping SkillsCoping skills are to create emotional, psychological and even physical boundaries around something in order to survive it. In other words, a coping does not fix anything, it just allows us to survive that thing. By definition, coping skills are best applied to things that we cannot fix, or at least, not right now, or definitely not all at once. They are a tool to allow us to continue on until we can mindfully accept what we cannot change, and change what we can.  When to Use Coping SkillsThe key principle, erring on the side of giving you cliche advice, is knowing the difference between these two. What can you change? If you can change it, don’t forever cope with it (see article from 1 year or so ago). If you can’t change it, do what you can to cope with it- ultimately with the goal of not emotionally resisting your experience to it (because in the resistance lies the suffering). Intentionally Using Coping SkillsIn a globally gridlocked situation, such as a pandemic, we are falling into category 2 in many ways. Give yourself permission please, to cope. Release yourself from high expectations, perfectionism, overly goal oriented behavior, knowing you can return to that and that your ability and skills to achieve will be there waiting for you when you need them. Allow yourself to maintain what is important (read: self care, structure, routine, support system) and do what is otherwise healthy to cope. Coping Skills for Creative PeopleUnsure what coping skills mean for you? I recommend to all my clients to have a written list of these prepared for themselves at all times. They can be wide and varied from distraction techniques, to self soothing, to personal development, to (of course) creative practices and more- this is something that time in counseling can be used to build- personalized for your use. Creativity Counseling to Build Coping SkillsCreativity Counseling is an important way you can both add coping skills to your toolbox, and build your inner knowledge of when to cope or when to push through, and switching back-and-forth with ease. These are important life skills every creative person needs to live successfully. Here are two steps you can take today to work on your coping and start living better: 1) Book a Free Consultation. All new clients to Creatively, LLC are entitled to a 15 min, free consultation to sit with me and discuss your needs, services available, and we can problem solve and hand-pick best next steps to help you succeed. 2) Book a Coaching Package. Are you a working Creative in need of specific support? I offer a range of Coaching Packages- let's get started with one that is right for you. (C) 2022 Creatively, LLC www.creativelyllc.com More Posts Related to Counseling for Creative People What is your Inner Critic?It shows up differently for all of us, but somehow in a way that is so familiar. The self doubt. The feelings of inferiority. The fear. Each of us has an inner critic, and most of us has an inner critic that is healthy with a strong voice. How are you impacted by yours? In this article, we explore the role of the Artist's inner critic, and healthy ways to manage this inner voice. Don’t Fight with the CriticFirst things first. It's not a great use of time to fight with your inner critic. This is a fight you will lose at worst, and never stop fighting at best. You are equally matched with yourself, you see. Therefore, anything you can give your critic, she can fire right back at you. It is not productive to engage with her in this way. You don’t have to try to shut her up, or shut her down. You also don’t have to invest in what she has to say. Don't feel like that gives you a lot of options? Let's try an exercise. Try this Inner Critic ExerciseHave you ever intentionally given your inner critic a voice, just to see how absurd/powerful/angry/mean/difficult/etc she can be? Let’s take some of her power away by exposing her. Perhaps just for the sake of the exercise, and not by way of practice, we will engage her in a dialogue (fully realizing this is a monologue ;) ) Write it down, as you go. It might look something like this: Inner Critic: “You know if you drop the ball on one thing, everything will fall apart” You: “I have feared that for a long time just because I was on my own for so long. That has nothing to do with this. But thanks.” Inner Critic: “You know you are really not ever going to be good enough to be recognized. See that spot over there? It’s pretty bad. It’s showing all the other artists that you are pretty bad. See how no-one liked your piece when you posted it? They couldn’t even be bothered because it is just that boring.” You: “Dude! Yikes! I actually like it, it came from my soul, and if you step back and gaze at it from your heart, it’s really quite beautiful. I paint from my heart. You are truly quite wounded.” Inner Critic: “I have no response to that.” You: “What would it look like if your criticism was constructive and not wounding? Inner Critic: “…” You: “Can you even do that?” Inner Critic: “Can you even make me do that?” You:”…” When you are finished with your exercise, write a little bit about your experience and what you discovered about yourself and your relationship with your IC. What is something you can do differently as you move forward, in your relationship with it? Can you dramatize it, to take its power away? Give it a name that makes you take it less seriously? Repeat this exercise as a regular part of your journaling? Acknowledge it without engaging it? Add your ideas to your thoughts about the exercise. An Inner Critic Story from the Life of a Creativity CoachI have shared before that this past year, as part of fulfilling a life-long dream, I have taken up horseback riding. It is something that has challenged every part of me. Certainly the riding is difficult, but even more so, is the horsemanship. Horses are highly intelligent, and have a way of humbling you. Repeatedly. Especially my mare- she seems to know how I am feeling, where my weaknesses are, and exactly how to exploit them. She is demanding me to become a better horsewoman than I feel ready to be. So I regularly find myself at a juncture with her: push myself beyond my self doubt and fears, or walk away from my life-long dream.  Why Conquering your Inner Critic MattersBelieve me when I say I understand, both on a literal and metaphoric level, the challenges of facing self doubt, feelings of inferiority, and fear. I have faced them as an artist. I have faced them when my twelve-thousand pound horse challenges me and I have to challenge her back. But consider what is at stake, and consider the gains. Will you push beyond your self doubt and fears? Or will you risk walking away from your life-long dreams? Because when the stakes are so high, so are the rewards. Everything you want, Creative, is on the other side of that fear, that doubt, that lack of self-belief. Do Something Important and Creative TodayI challenge you to face your self doubts and fears. I challenge you to confront your inner critic and show her you are the stronger energy. The bigger power. Do something important today to show up for yourself and your creativity and start your journey with Creativity Coaching. You can take one of these two steps right now: 1) Book a Free Consultation. All new clients to Creatively, LLC are entitled to a 15 min, free consultation to sit with me and discuss your needs, services available, and we can problem solve and hand-pick best next steps to help you succeed.
2) Book a Coaching Package. Are you a working Creative in need of specific support? I offer a range of Coaching Packages- let's get started with one that is right for you. |
get more from The Creativity CoursesLiking educational topics and knowing what's hot in creativity? Creatively has online courses, with an interactive creative community, coaching sessions and more in the Creativity Courses. Want these blogposts in a newsletter? Subscribe here, and get a free gift. Cindy Cisnerosis a Creativity Coach, Creative Therapist and Professional Artist in Sykesville, Maryland. She is an expert straddling the realms of arts, creativity research, psychology, therapy, and coaching. She provides Online Creativity Counseling in Maryland and Virginia, and Online Creativity Coaching throughout the USA, Canada and the UK tailored for the discerning, imaginative, artistic, and neurodiverse. The information provided in this blog is from my own clinical experiences and training. It is intended to supplement your clinical care. Never make major life changes before consulting with your treatment team. If you are unsure of your safety or wellbeing, do not hesitate to get help immediately.
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