Creatives, this week we will continue our discussion of the creative personality and the creative cycle. We are going to dive into the notion of “showing up for creativity.”
Let’s take one step back and revisit the topic of art process vs product. As we are learning how to make art, and again throughout our lifetime as artists, we are very product focused: how does our finished product look, represent our view, our technical skill, the marketplace, the art world, and more? In fact, without discerning between the two, our default view of our art form is likely to be product focused. This is valuable and important, but distinct and different from the process of making art. The process we engage in while making art is connected to neurological creative processes that are grounding, inventive, fulfilling, communicative and even cathartic. Becoming too product focused can disrupt the artistic process, and over investing in the artistic process doesn’t usually create your best product. Depending on the goal, it is useful to more heavily weight or balance these two elements. Assignment due? You are likely to be product focused. Doing art for the therapeutic value? You will need to invest more in the process. The idea of “showing up for creativity” comes from a long held belief by creative people that the spark of creativity or inspiration isn’t constant (remember the creative cycle post?). Oftentimes between these moments of inspiration (which can range from less interest or energy in your creative work to being stuck or blocked creatively) we decide we will wait for that next creative wave to crest before diving back into our work. To “show up for creativity” is the idea that this is backwards: the spark doesn’t organically appear without doing the work. Rather, by continuing to produce work, you will build the momentum and energy back to the moments of inspiration and passion that creative people live for. In other words, the belief is: do not wait for creativity to happen, show up for it every day. This is actually a commonly disputed belief, and unfortunately the evidence for or against the system is by necessity anecdotal. Essentially, like many things in the creative personality, whether or not it works for you to “show up” for your creativity and continue to produce work during inspirational lulls, depends on the unique factors that make you, you. What it does do is give us a concept by which to begin to explore and discuss your creative process, struggles and goals. I am interested in how the adage works for you. How do your creative instincts, protective mechanisms and personal history respond to the concept of “showing up for creativity?” Dare you to test the theory? What I have said before and what my own psychological research has sustained, is that to be happy, fulfilled, resilient and their best self, creative people need to create. Regularly. All the time. This is perhaps one way to make this happen. Many creative people swear by it. So tell me, Creative. How does it strike you? (C) 2018 Creatively, LLC Happy Spring Snow Storm! Unfortunately, due to weather, the Zen Doodling workshop at Root Studio will be cancelled tonight. Contact Root Studio about rescheduling. Stay safe out there!
As artists, we have a unique way of viewing others and the world around us. We communicate this through our work, and it is as cathartic and fulfilling for us as it is exciting and enjoyable for our audience. As a fellow artist, I am interested in exploring this with you. As your therapist, I am also interested in how you view yourself in relationship to the world and others.
In psychology, we talk about a “mental map” as a sort of extension of cognitive mapping. In simple terms, we each have a mental map which we use as reference for how we interact with the world. It is comprised of rules, routines and rituals built from lessons we have learned, people we have interacted with, experiences we have had, and things we have gleaned throughout our personal histories. It is sort of like your personal belief system, but all encompassing, advising how and why each of your behaviors is chosen. I want to take the concept of our unique mental map as a springboard for today’s concept- which I want to call a “referential self.” What I mean by a “referential self” is a version of yourself at a point in time in your life which is significant, and by which you define yourself. You may frequently go back to this version of yourself to assess progress, changes, relationships, decisions and other aspects of growth and development throughout your life. These “referential selves” are frozen in your mind visually and characteristically. In fact, this is a good starting point for identifying what referential selves you may have. Without looking at yourself, imagine yourself. Not what you look like today necessary, but just “you.” How old are you? What are you wearing? Feeling? Can you pinpoint other details about this version of you? You may have more than one mental image which may mean several referential selves. I wonder 2 things for you about these aspects of yourself: 1) what signifies the storage of this version of yourself (eg why this version of you?) and 2) how do you use/judge/see this reference? Take a moment to think about these questions. Is one of your referential selves captured at a moment when you fleshed out important pieces of who you are? Does this version of you have insecurities and flaws that you continue to cling to, even though they may be many years behind you? You may consistently judge yourself or identify yourself as this version of yourself no matter how much you have changed since then. I call this being “stuck” and it is a good concept to explore in therapy. May I suggest the following exercise, as a continuation of self-portrait activities we have previously done together: use your chosen creative modality to explore one of your referential selves. Truly express who this version of yourself was- the good, the bad and the ugly. When you have finished, take a step back (musicians and dancers- you might record your work so you can replay and examine it fully). As objectively as you can, pick apart why this reference is captured and stored (question one above) and how you continue to identify yourself by this version of you (question two above). Go deep. Pull the thread. What did you find? (C) 2018 Creatively, LLC I have been wanting to talk about this for a few weeks, and today, the timing feels right: let’s explore the creative cycle.
Many things in life operate in cycles. Creativity does, too. In this case, as in many others, by identifying a creative cycle we are simply naming clusters of symptoms and behaviors that tend to occur together to understand them better. That means of course there is variation from person to person, and that the naming is more for communicating and understanding than diagnosing or labeling. Anecdotally, I have observed the following tendencies and stages to be roughly cyclical in my creative clients: Building up of energy Making plans, generating ideas and designs Creation phase Completion and editing phase Sharing and excitement phase Deescalation of energy Lowered creative energy/creative block. This cycle also follows the model of diametrically opposed traits we looked at a few posts back (remember the pair of high/low energy?) Speaking of, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi also has his five stages of creativity: Preparation (becoming immersed/interested in a topic or problem) Incubation (subconscious marination when we make connections and work on the problem) Insight (“AHA!” Moment) Evaluation (is your newly birthed idea worth following) Elaboration (the most time and energy is spent here- where you do the creative work) Though named and grouped differently, both models generally outline the same cycle: germinate, build, produce, disseminate and ebb. Thinking about this, take a moment to look at where your process might fit into these cycles. Have you been producing lots of ideas and work without a distinct direction? You may be generating/incubating. Landed on a concept but not sure how to produce? Maybe you have your idea and insight and need to push into creation to move forward. If you know where you are in the cycle, you can more easily identify what to do next. You begin to understand and flesh out the nuances of your own creative cycle and therefore how to best operate within it. Start with the basic framework and let it percolate- what is your creative cycle like? Where do you spend the most time within it? What might you want to change about how you move through it? Come sit in my chair and lets explore, problem solve and keep you creating! (C) 2018 Creatively, LLC Creative Prompt for Getting Unstuck
I toyed with lots of great topics for today’s Creatively blog, and finally this seemed to feel right. I want to give you another creative exercise prompt. The goal of this is to get your creative juices flowing, help you hone in on your unique creative voice, and get unstuck if you are feeling in a rut. To preface the exercise, I want to tie it into Person Centered Therapy. This is an approach that I use often in sessions. Simply put, the focus is to follow your “organismic valuing process” or your innate sense of happiness, to become “congruent” or your most fulfilled self. The work in this approach focuses on finding other voices creating rules, judgments and external imposed values, and separate these from what organically, intrinsically makes us tick. In the creative world, part of the building blocks of the creative process is to learn fundamentals, study the “greats” and educate ourselves with the current masters in our creative avenues. We spend time in schools, classes, trainings, online, in libraries, in galleries, at shows and more to absorb, imitate, and learn. At some point as artists, we need to step away from this and find out what is uniquely ours. This is not a simple or a short journey, and I do not mean to minimize it by putting it in basic terms. It can take years and usually is not a static thing. But- where to start? Like in Person Centered Therapy, I want you to try to find your organismic, innate, voice. What are your tendencies, preferences, lenses? What does your gut tell you to do? This will require you to quiet down right/analytical/educated brain and “feel” into your work. In the creative world what makes you unique- the only thing that stands you apart- is your individual perspective and what comes naturally from you. This is what we want to tap into. So for this exercise: Take a moment to try and quiet your inner critic and “committee” of what your work/good work/ any work “should be,” is considered “good,” is considered “fresh,” “relevant,” etc. Close your eyes and feel into the part of yourself that is uniquely and individually you. Embrace and affirm this person. Ask it- “what do you feel?” Now, preparing and allowing for the work you are about to create to not be you best masterpiece, allow, having settled into your unique sense of self, advise you what to do. Create a piece that is not analytical, educated, skillful, or guided by any other judgments or rules- allow it to create itself based on what organically feels right to you. I know this is very broad and open! It is supposed to be! If you are an artist, feel into what type of media, what type of marks, what colors, subjects and more “feel” like they belong to you. Continue to check in with yourself to quiet the inner voices trying to dictate your choices for any other reasons. Authors- use a similar approach to choose subject, length, type of writing, words used etc. Musicians- what do your instincts tell you to play? Something harmonic? Pleasing? Discordant? Aggressive? Lyrical? Instrumental? Dancers- release the dictation of steps and styles and allow your body to move in a way that “feels right” to your soul. If you find yourself frustrated, trying too hard, or going back to learned styles, that is ok. Just find again that inner voice and allow it to come back online and push you into your next choice. Creatives, I would love for this to be a regular practice- for you to find and tap into your innate creative choices, and let this advise the direction you go with your work. Try this exercise, and let’s talk about it- your voice is valuable and unique- explore it, express it, embrace it! (C) 2018 Creatively, LLC This week we will continue to explore traits that are common among creative people- these in particular are part of a category that scientist Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi believes exist in a uniquely, diametrically opposed way. What interests me in this research is partially these qualities as innate to the creative personality, but also this paradoxical tension between naturally occurring opposing forces within. The idea of this as unique to the creative personality speaks ultimately to the drive and power I feel when working with creative people. Without further ado, let’s explore the traits (adapted from “Creativity” by Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi):
So, creative, does any of this sound familiar? Most of it? All of it? Let’s talk more about how these qualities exist within you, and how you can harness them to create your best life. (C) 2018 Creatively, LLC The Wellness Series with Cindy Cisneros Artist/Therapist
Biofeedback for Artists An introduction to the science of biofeedback. Use a simple device to pair your body’s rhythms with the calming power of making art. Zen Doodling Try on the simple language of drawing for peace, repetition and control. Try your hand at mandala drawing and feel your stress melt away. Meditating with Art Learn the benefit of making art just for the beauty of it. Make beautiful pieces and experience guided meditation using your work. Getting Unstuck with Mindfulness Disarm expectations by experimenting with different media and modalities of art. Free yourself from artists’ block and get inspired with mindfulness approaches. Experience the power of your creativity! Come recharge in an explorative environment at Root Studio. This workshop is perfect for those feeling stuck, stressed or overwhelmed, looking for a fresh approach or wanting to add creativity to their daily lives. Artist and therapist Cindy Cisneros leads this weekly workshop where participants use a variety of techniques to harness the restorative power of creative practice including biofeedback and meditation for stress reduction, and exploring the grounding and mindful components of the art making process. Learn how to use your body’s natural rhythms to engage your creativity and be well with art! Materials provided, or feel free to bring your preferred supplies! Benefits: ● deepen your creative identity ● enhance personal well being, unplugging from our busy lives ● build self esteem ● self discovery ● learn mindfulness ● use mindfulness for inspiration ● learn to meditate ● decrease anxiety, stress and more To reserve your seat or to learn more, click on the button below! This week marks the beginning of a new category in the Creatively blog: creative exercise prompts to refresh yourself and help you get unstuck. They are random and designed to get your creative juices flowing and start producing work. Creative energy isn’t constant and one of the best ways to reignite is to be productive and prolific.
For this exercise, there are three aspects- you can choose to use one, two or all of them in your work. Make as many pieces as you can exploring the prompt. Aspect one: Make a self portrait using symbols to represent yourself. Include at least four characteristics of yourself in your work. Aspect two: Make your work a painting and limit yourself to making only 100 brushstrokes to complete your piece. Aspect three: Make your work only using your favorite color. You can use different hues, saturation’s, values but all of the same color. Try at the end incorporating a color you usually don’t like. When you are finished, write about the process. This will be a free write: put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and just begin writing. Fill a page with your reflections about the exercise. Alternative: if you are a musician or a writer, edit the exercise in a way similar to this: Aspect one: Write or play a song/poem/piece as a reflective self portrait. Allude to at least four characteristics of yourself in your work. Aspect two: Make your work using only 100 notes/words Aspect three: Make your work using only your favorite music/writing style. You can Explore the style any way you would like within the genre. Try at the end incorporating a style you usually don’t like When you are finished, choose a different creative approach to explore your experience (eg if you are a writer, draw or make music, if you are a musician, write or draw, etc) Despite snow flurries, the Creatively Office is open today, Sunday, 2/4. Come if you can travel safely. If you can’t, give me a call about attending online via telehealth. See you soon!
This week’s post centers on mindfulness, and in that spirit, is parsimonious:
“Sailing through”- an expression depicting something someone has done easily, without resistance. This week’s practice: Put things down. Do less. Say no. Immerse yourself in simply being. If you don’t know how, try a guided meditation. Enjoy moments of intentional peace, silence and mindful absorption. If your life is too full to allow for this, identify some things you can put down for awhile. You may be missing life’s beautiful moments by going too fast and trying too hard. While sailing, you use the powerful forces of wind and water as they exist naturally. You harness them to go where you want to go. You are not fighting the elements. You are taking them as they are and using them to arrive at your destination. “Sailing through:” Mindfully embracing the forces of your life fully to direct yourself to a peaceful and fulfilling future. Harness your power, for you are mighty. (C) 2018 Creatively, LLC All human behavior exists in each of us, on a spectrum. Not unrelated to our gene expression, some of us experience some behaviors more than others, but all have the capacity in a biological sense for all behaviors. Let this set the framework for a discussion about the topic of becoming too insular.
We are all creatures of habit. Habit breeds security and comfort from routine and reliability. We biologically relax and are our more natural selves in known circumstances; less so in unknown. As biological organisms we are “pre-set” to tend towards situations we have identified as easier and safer, in this case, by familiarity. We are also social organisms. Historically, Homo sapiens live in groups that over time evolved into societies that are co-dependent and mutually beneficial. Our natural “setting” is to regularly interact and exist in a society with others, to survive the stressors of life. Throughout history, around the world, this model has successfully repeated itself. Fast forward to modern day society in the United States. Making sweeping cultural generalizations, here is what we find: family units each in their own households, working long hours to support themselves (children, spouses, etc) each living parallel to each other, rather than in a network. Frequently, we are so dominated by providing for our immediate needs we no longer have time to expand and attend to our social needs. We are also turned inward by our addictions to technology, social media, instant gratification and convenience. Really, in today’s world, no one is fully immune. Combining our default setting to what is familiar, the societal pressures putting us in isolated lanes, modern living, and our biological imperative for social interaction, we often find ourselves today unable to meet all our needs. We end up becoming insular: closed off to other experiences around us and entrenched in the demands and routines of our daily lives. Long term it is not healthy for us, and in fact, this sort of isolation is a hallmark of depression. Let’s return to the “digging the hole” analogy from a few posts back. If we are creatures of habit and routine, and remembering neuroplasticity capabilities of our brain we have also previously discussed, then it follows our best choice is to awkwardly demand ourselves to be more social, until it feels more integrated, natural and safe to us. We have to swim against the current in which we find ourselves today with technology, financial demands and societal expectations to meet this basic need of interaction. We have talked about building support systems in posts before and this is not very different- expanding the network and making human connections is a necessary part of a healthy lifestyle. The ways in which we might do this today have changed from even a decade ago- but the opportunities are there if you risk them. Come to my couch and talk about obstacles you face that isolate you. Let’s talk about how to identify safe opportunities to end your loneliness and bring you more support! (C) 2018 Creatively, LLC What is your emotional vocabulary?
Do you know what you feel, when you are feeling it? Do you know what angry, worried, happy, thoughtful, grateful and more feel like? Do you use these words to describe and recognize how you feel? Do you even know very many of these words? How many feelings can you list, right now? How hard or easy that task is, is a telling thing. Surprisingly, it is important to know what you feel (that is why we therapists are always asking you!) Feelings are biochemical signals from the brain to the body to communicate to you something important. All feelings have a message associated with them. Do you know what it means when you are angry? How about sad? There are some universal meanings, and many more that are personal and circumstantial conveyed to us by how we feel. Because feelings are signals of information, they want to be felt. If we feel them, their mission is accomplished and they will disperse. The problem for most of us is we block them. We block them based on how we were raised, societal expectations, to protect ourselves, and for other reasons. As a result, we carry around our suitcases chock full of unpacked emotions, everywhere we go. What does that mean for us? It might mean overreacting to smaller things. It might mean overall higher levels of stress. It can lead to things like isolation and depression. It generally feels not so great. What to do? Come to therapy of course. Let someone (me!) trained help you carefully unpack your feelings suitcases, one by one. Learn what your emotions are or were telling you, and how/when/why they got packed away. Learn how to identify and experience your emotions as they happen (mindfulness!) and how to express your needs or modify behaviors based on what they are telling you. So, Creative, that you more fully understand my question, how does that make you feel? (C) 2018 Creatively, LLC Like begets like. Positive energy attracts other positive energy. This is the concept I am interested in today. Though there are many different lenses, we are going to think about this idea as a series of good decisions.
As a therapist I will always tell you to “do your best” and most often, this is enough. I am not alone in this advice- D.W. Winnicott famously explored the “good enough mother”- I am telling you that if you consistently do your best it will probably be enough to reach your goals. When I am telling you this, I am relying on “your best” not being a singular event. As a therapist, I am relying on one “best” choice being connected to many others, with the ultimate goal of “right place right time” experiences. I believe life can be how we create it to be- not just a series of coincidences, though it is also that. Here is an example of what I mean. Often I work with my patients on building better/healthier/stronger support systems. Let’s say this is your goal. You make one good decision to follow your local neighborhood group on social media. From following the feed as part of your good decision to stay dedicated to this goal, you see a thread where you have something in common with some other neighbors which in turn leads you to a group chat. You determine based on the content of the thread this is safe and looks promising to pursue. From the group chat you find some of your neighbors with whom you have much in common have a regular get-together that also is safe and something you decide to try. You go to the event and feel good about it. One of the members invites you meet some of their friends and attend something in the community. You accept. At the event you feel synergy, support and safety. Over time this grows and you have added significantly to your support system. It is a simple chain of events, but in each decision above you did your “best” to make the right choice towards your goal, each time picking a pot of variables that are healthier, and more likely to therefore present in a combination that is good for you (the part that is “chance”). In this way you can control, guide and create your outcomes- by always doing your “best.” You are making a series of good decisions that serially change circumstances and probability in your favor. It is working with, not against, chaos, nature, fate, destiny- whatever forces you believe are at work in your life. How you direct the flow of choices matters! And it starts internally. We behave based on what we believe. So, in therapy work on what you tell yourself, your inner belief system, and what is true. Open your mind to what you can create as true. Create some new possibilities and change in your life. (C) 2018 Creatively, LLC There are many of us for whom the Winter is hard. The days are short, cold and dark. We are probably inside more, seeing the sun less, and less active. These things can exacerbate or even resurrect mood symptoms that are challenging. Let’s take a few minutes today to talk about how Winter doldrums impact creative people.
We already know that creative people feel things deeply. That means you may feel the onset of a wintertime depression strongly. Creatives- something to remember when you are feeling intense emotions- an engine cannot run on full blast indefinitely. That is to say- the more intense your feelings, the shorter the duration: depressed mood is a wave that will crest and fall. I’m not minimizing the experience or telling you you will wake up one morning “all better.” I am saying stick-and-stay, practice good self care, be around your support system, and know that the pain will naturally ease up on its own a little bit- quicker, better and more completely the better you take care of yourself in the interim. My clinical advice for the Winter doldrums: Dig the hole. Many of you have received this advice from me. Advice that another clinician gave me years ago, I pass along as sound counsel for fighting depression. It is referencing a person whose job it is to dig a hole. Professional hole digger. All this person has to do is show up to work, and the hole gets dug. If the worker doesn’t show up, it doesn’t get dug. This is the attitude we need when symptoms seem overwhelming. Ride the wave. Go through the motions. The more you can stick to your regular routine, implement your usual supports and coping skills and self care, the better you will be for it. I know when you are depressed it takes monumental effort to tie a shoe string. But do it. Go to work. Get to school. Get the kids. Get and do whatever you would usually do- dig the hole. Need more support? Add therapy to help you through this Winter. It’s natural and healthy to add to your support system to counter-balance stressors, and Creatively is here for you. And- don’t forget- 2 art workshops are available at Root Studio (starting soon!) scroll down to previous blog entries for details and offset your doldrums by boosting your creative energy. (C) 2018 Creatively, LLC Dreaming Meaning Making
An important part of our life experience that makes an appearance in both art and therapy is meaning making. It is a human need to understand what experiences mean to us, to our lives, to our relationships, sense of self, and more. In fact, we find resolution, healing and purpose through making meaning and there are approaches to both art and therapy dedicated to this work. Meaning making can be hard, intensive, long term work. It can also be accomplished in smaller, more natural ways. Biologically, when we are making meaning we are creating new pathways in the brain, connecting information in new ways. Psychologically, we are developing our consciousness and worldview based on our life experiences. There has been a lot of work in art therapy, for example, on making artwork to help heal pain. You may have heard of adages of “doing something with the pain” in art therapy approaches. In a way, to artists, pain and hardship are romantic in a Shakespearean, tragic but beautiful sense. Logically, pain needs to exist in order for us to experience healing and happiness- one of the basic meaning-making steps used in therapy. The cognitive behavioral therapy paradigm focuses on the relationship between our thoughts, feelings and actions and how changing one impacts the other. Cognitive behavioral therapy would suggest that making meaning of experiences can change the way we think about them, and, in turn, positively impact our emotions about them and subsequent behaviors. What does this mean to you? We are all programmed to absorb the world in a certain way based on our life stories and genetic material. However, making meaning gives us power and freedom to choose what our life stories will mean to us and how we will use them in the future to predict outcomes, grow relationships, and choose our behavior. The idea of meaning making both in art and psychology allows you to create your future from your past and present. It empowers you to take healthy perspective and strength from your pain to more fully experience joy. Gain insight into your life and turn it into action. Come sit on my couch and make meaning of your life experiences. (C) 2017 Creatively, LLC Exciting news, creatives! I have two upcoming workshops available in January and February at Root Studio: The Art of Mindfulness and Creative Inspiration workshops- check them out and register at https://www.therootstudio.org/workshops . You can also find the links on the CreativelyLLC Facebook page (@creativelyllc) and the QR code links to the events on Instagram (@creativelyllc). Look for the newsletter and blog post this Friday with more about Creatively workshops!
Many creative people are also what you might call “nurturer-types” (though not all nurturers are creative and not all creatives are nurturers, its a frequent combination). Oftentimes your capacity to feel deeply also translates to empathy- the ability to feel deeply for others. As a result you may have chosen, been placed in, or both, nurturing roles in your relationships. This can be both good and bad. You are probably familiar with both positives and negatives if you have found yourself in nurturing roles. Nurturing to empathic creatives is fulfilling, feels emotionally satisfying, and caters to your natural strengths. It can also place you in a “nurturer trap.”
Something I see often in therapy and while working with creative people that are a nurturer-type, is that they are ensnared in a nurturer trap. If you are nurturing, what you will find or may have already found, is those that need nurturing will seek you out, and you may naturally seek them out as well. While this can be a beautiful symbiosis and go very well, this is not always the case. Oftentimes people that seek out nurturers are damaged, for lack of a better word, and will not honor the gifts they are receiving from you. They will drain you, take from you, can even manipulate and abuse you, without giving anything back. In these relationships you are drawn to them by your strong sense of empathy and nurture, and are left empty, hurt or even traumatized. You blame yourself for the relationship and the pain. You may even feel trapped. If you wind back the clock and look at the first few interactions in that relationship, likely what you will find, is you began it with good intentions to help, repair and strengthen. If you check off boxes one and two (yes, I am creative with a strong sense of empathy, and yes, I am very nurturing) chances are you will check off box three (yes, I have been caught in the nurturer trap) at some point in your life. In relationships of every kind, we need to protect ourselves (for more on this go back to the blog post about boundaries and setting your own rules). In order to create rules and boundaries to effectively protect ourselves we need information. You may identify from reading this today that you are a nurturer and susceptible to being trapped by those that would emotionally leech from you. Your next step is to take a look at your personal history and glean information from it you can use to protect yourself. Try the following activity (as always, in conjunction with your regular therapy sessions): List the major relationships you have had in your life. If you don’t like lists, choose another way to represent them. They don’t need to all be romantic. Include family, friends, coworkers, neighbors- any that stand out to you for whatever reason. If the list is long, top out at about 10 for the sake of the exercise. It is ok if your list is shorter than this, too. Next, under each relationship start listing qualities of them. What were the people like that you were in the relationship with? What was the relationship like? What adjectives describe experiences you had together? Again, if lists aren’t for you, create this representation in another way of your choosing. When you are done, go back through and circle anything that comes up more than once. You are looking for patterns. What can you identify as characteristics of people you have been in relationships with? What should you glom onto as healthy, and what might you use as a “red flag” in the future to avoid? Finally, remember that any type of nurturing (in healthy or unhealthy relationships) is giving of yourself. What you probably forget to do but need to do the most, is turn your gift inward and nurture yourself. Feeling sad, anxious, lonely? What would you do to help someone else who is feeling that way? Do it for yourself. Ask someone else to do it for you. Make sure to nurture yourself with as much (even better- more) time and attention than you do others. Being a nurturer is a gift and a calling to your creative personality and strong sense of empathy. Embrace it in a healthy way and you will feel fulfilled, build self esteem, and create meaning and purpose in your life. Come sit on my couch and let’s talk about how you can use your gift of nurturing to create your best life! (C) 2017 Creatively, LLC Adults need to Limit Screen Time, Too
Creatives: most of us have heard by now that pediatricians recommend limiting screen time in our little ones to help mold their growing minds. What you may or may not know or do is limit screen time for yourself, as well. I don’t have to tell you how prevalent glowing screens are in our daily lives- they are computers, tablets, phones, TVs and more- and we spend up to 75% of our waking hours looking at them. There are studies showing physiological effects of these activities such as posture and neck/back problems, eye strain, and more- I am here to tell you there is also a psychological impact! Here are some of the problems with “screen time,” that you may or may not know about: Screen time isn’t “real life.” You aren’t interacting physically with others (a psychological and sociological need) you aren’t physically accomplishing something (a self esteem need and creative need) you may or may not be being creative (a psychological need). Screen time isn’t “natural.” You are likely inside, seated. You are probably not outside, breathing fresh air, using your body, experiencing natural body rhythms of the day, touching, smelling, or tasting. The medical community recommends disengaging from screens at least 2 hours prior to going to bed as it interferes with the body’s natural ability to fall asleep. Screen time isn’t “mindful.” You aren’t grounded, experiencing or aware of time passing. You aren’t “living” as a human biological organism is meant to “live.” You are not participating in the present moment or engaging with your surroundings. Screen time isn’t “nurturing.” You are taking time away from self care, you are taking time away from other productive activities and goals like cooking, fitness, housework, and spending time with loved ones. Too often screen time is comparing out on social media, spying and pretending and watching other lives in entertainment- it is outward not inwardly focused, it is fleeting and not long lasting- you are not investing in yourself. Need more convincing? Try this exercise (on paper!): Spend five minutes on a screen- whether you are browsing the web, flicking through social media pages, watching TV or gaming- then stop and reflect on your experience. How did you feel during? How do you feel after? How FULFILLED and ENGAGED in your life do you feel? Give that last one a numerical value. Repeat the exercise doing something without a screen- take a walk, talk to a friend, cook something, meditate. How did you feel during? How do you feel after? How FULFILLED and ENGAGED in your life do you feel? Assign a numerical value. Compare your notes. What did you find out? Want to make reducing screen time a goal for 2018? Have fears, concerns or obstacles related to the amount of screen time in your life? Let’s talk about it. (C) 2017 Creatively, LLC The Holiday Season is quickly coming upon us and with its arrival we need to revamp our mindfulness. In this spirit, next week I will vacation from my blog, newsletter and website- so feel free to take the time to reread some past posts or take your own mindful break!
By now you have had some introduction to what mindfulness is and some ways to use it in your life. Mindfulness is beautifully simple and uncomplicated. When we are mindful, we are quieting the mind and focusing on our present experiences. Even those of us that feel seasoned and successful in mindfulness practices can get diverted from this state of being during the Holiday Season. Part of the problem with the Holidays is we want them to “be” something. Therefore, we have expectations for them. We compare out and feel pressure to deliver certain things to those around us. Usually these are with the intention of giving the perfect Holiday Season to others. This year, I give you permission to be a little more selfish. Ask yourself what makes the Holidays memorable and special for you? Of the list of things you “have to do” for your Holiday Season- why do items make that list? Let’s make mindful choices this year for how and why we celebrate. Try this simple exercise (as always I advise not to do these exercises without the guidance of therapy sessions- so let’s schedule one of those, too!): Make a list, drawing or representation of your choosing of what you plan to do for this Holiday Season. If that is already too overwhelming (hmm) then choose one holiday for the exercise. When you are finished, go through each thing you plan to do and “mini-meditate” on it. Consider it. Scan your emotions, scan your body. As you consider this thing, how does your body react? With tension? With warmth? What are your emotions associated with this thing? Stress, joy, something else? Ask yourself, why do you do this thing during the Holidays? For yourself, for others? Allow your mind to consider and hold this information as you think about this first thing. Your goal this year is a peaceful, mindful, happy Holiday Season. Does this thing fit into that picture? Continue the exercise as you go through all your plans. Amend them to take away or add what brings you closer to a more peaceful and enjoyable Holiday Season. Allow yourself to feel the anxiety of eliminating things you might be accustomed to doing from your list. Give yourself permission to do something different. So often when there are big calendar events like during the Holiday Season, we become so focused on outcomes and making them “perfect,” we miss enjoying them for what they really can be: peace, happiness, family, love, fulfillment and more. This year your new Holiday Tradition is yourself: create a more mindful Holiday Season. Talk to you again in two weeks (unless I see you in my therapy chair- go ahead- schedule something!) Happy Mindful Days! (c) 2017 Creatively LLC Therapy Skill: Make the Rules for your Life
Don’t bristle at the thought of rules too soon, Dear Creatives- these rules are made by you. Here is a logical concept laid out in print you probably know but may not have taken time to consider or apply, so read it twice: you can set the rules to your own life. One more time: you can set the rules to your life. In psychology-speak, we call these rules boundaries, and they are all yours. This is a concept worth discussing because every (and I mean every) person who has sat in my therapy chair, has needed to review and address their boundaries. They may have set some rules in their lives, but either they can be added to, revamped, or both. Part of the reason we are bad at this is because it involves change and as such, resistance from others in our lives. Another reason is we may not see that a new rule needs to be set because we are too close to it. Lucky for you, I am not too close to it. I describe it sometimes like this: have you ever stood outside at the base of a tall building and looked up? You can’t see the whole thing. You are too close. I, am across the street. I see you. Let’s assume that you have identified the need to set some new rules in your life despite some of the obstacles. What does that even mean or look like? We can break it down into categories. You have the right to write the rules for your relationships (romantic, friendship, familial, professional etc), you have the right to write rules for your physical space. You have the right to say when something is emotionally too much or not something you want to handle. In almost every area of your life there is a place for you to design a rule or a limit. Why do we do this? To protect ourselves. If we make the rule that within arm’s length is too close for a stranger to stand to us, we have a way to judge what is safe and can enforce that rule for ourselves. If we have a rule that if we are treated a certain way by a partner then that means we will leave a relationship, we have some groundwork in which to know if we are safe. If I know talking about a certain topic will make me cry and I don’t want to do that, I can decline to participate in a conversation and emotionally protect myself. And on and on. Like everything else, our personal history including how we are raised and what we have experienced, influence the type of rules we have in our lives. Some of us may have built protective walls that are too strong and become isolating. Others of us may have too few protective barriers and need to build more or reinforce what we have. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle. Taking time to assess and identify what rules you have for yourself in your life, and how they are functional or dysfunctional (including their absence) for you, is an important goal in therapy that I do in some way shape or form, with everyone. To help solidify the introduction to this concept, here is a brief art therapy exercise I have asked patients to do in groups and individually. You can repeat the exercise with a variety of boundary types (physical, interpersonal, etc etc). For the sake of this exercise, let’s think about romantic relationships. As always, I don’t recommend doing activities without the guidance of a therapist just in case you open up emotions you weren’t expecting- so give it a try and let’s talk more in session. The exercise: Draw an object that represents yourself. It can be as simple or complex as you would like. I often draw a butterfly for myself. On the side of your paper, while thinking about your romantic relationships, list some qualities they may have: tumultuous, peaceful, short, long, committed, open, emotional, loving, etc etc. When you feel done, begin to draw around the symbol of yourself a representation of how you protect or open yourself up to romantic relationships. Did you choose to draw an enclosure? Are you using just shapes or colors? Is there a height, thickness or texture? However you create, try to express and explore the feeling you have of exposure or closure and protection in relationships. When you feel finished, look at what you have made. What do you see? Any new or surprising information? On the other side of your paper, list some qualities of an ideal relationship for you. Would you like to be more open or giving? Would you like to be more protective of yourself or your partner? When you feel finished, go back to your drawing and add what you feel you need to create this environment of rules for yourself. Did you patch a wall? Did you lower one? Did you add a door or a lock? Did you add or subtract layers, colors or shapes? When you are done, consider what you have made. The beauty of art is, often we can visually express what is verbally difficult to say. Sometimes the visual serves as a bridge between our feelings and experiences, and active thoughts. Let this project communicate to you and help you understand your relationship rules and boundaries. Now you have had a quick and messy introduction to boundaries and making your own rules. Maybe you have even bought into that this would be a useful thing to examine and discuss. Believe me- it is important! Come to my chair and learn about yourself. Let’s start creating your happiest life. (C) 2017 Creatively, LLC Breaking Creative Blocks: Artist’s Dabble
You may not know this is a thing- but as a creative person it may be something you have noticed in yourself- creative people are distractible. Have you ever had anyone tease you about staying focused or on task? Have you ever noticed you may get excited about multiple projects? You may start something, which makes you think of another thing, then get excited about yet a third that you want to try. Of course there are degrees of everything, and there are certainly degrees of distractibility that become clinical and troublesome- but this is a trait you have that in general, can be healthy! Let me explain. Being distractible can be harnessed emotionally. We already know that creative people feel emotions more strongly than others. Good news- amongst the coping skills you have built in- you can be distracted! If you have ever spent time with small children, you know this technique well. It works just as effectively on everyone. Feeling anxious? Turn 180* and do something completely different. Distract yourself by making a change. Inside? Go out. Alone? Go be with someone. Working at a computer? Go cook a meal. There are endless varieties and options- harness your natural creative instincts and distract yourself. Being distractible can be harnessed creatively. We have had several discussions over past posts about breaking creative blocks. Here is yet another technique to use: distract yourself by trying something different. Or, as I like to call it, “dabbling.” A natural part of the ebbs and flows of your creative cycle are periods of lower creative energies, fewer ideas or otherwise feeling stuck. If you are feeling stuck in your chosen creative medium, try to garner inspiration and energy by dabbling in another. Painter’s block? Listen to music. Writer’s block? Try some painting! By trying something different, you take pressure off yourself to achieve certain goals and outcomes and naturally become more playful, and more easily absorb energy from a previously less explored creative source. If you aren’t stuck, but become excited or “distracted” by a different project, keep a running list, board, sketchbook or other record of things that inspire you. When you become blocked in the future, go to your list and pick something different. Abandon the previous idea and “dabble” to reignite your creative spirits. Then take this new energy with you, back to your previous project. Being distractible isn’t a weakness or a character flaw. It is a natural part of your creative personality that you can harness to strengthen yourself. Give yourself permission to be distracted. Take control of the trait and it becomes a natural skill for you to use purposefully and at will. Explore during your next session times you have felt stuck or distracted, and ways to take advantage of this important part of your creative personality! (c) 2017 Creatively, LLC Perfectionism. We artists know it well. When is a work finished? When is it ready? When is it perfect? This is unsurprisingly also a common issue brought to the therapy chair. The pressure to be perfect seems to be omnipresent in our modern lives. Artists feel this especially strongly when it comes to their work. Caution, creatives: perfection is dangerous, and nonexistent. The reason perfectionism is nonexistent is because it is also relative. As applied to an art form, even more so. Ask yourself, who declares if something is perfect or not? If it is you, where did you get your standard of perfect? What is your reference as to what that means? There is no one perfect painting, dance, writing, or piece of music. The beauty of the creative arts is the variety, not the homogeneity that would be necessary to create a standard of perfection. By trying to achieve something as “perfect” you are limiting yourself and blocking your creative flow. Accepting your art for what it wants to be is a powerful part of expressing it. Some creative therapists will talk about the “imaginal” quality of artwork. This refers to the work existing intrinsically, separately from our own standards, requirements or other cognitive interference. This approach suggests that imaginal work is some of the highest levels of creativity one can achieve. When you are making work, ask yourself what does the work want to become? How is it guiding its own expression in its creation? Does the work want to be more realistic, or more expressive? Does it want to be bold or subdued? Let your choices in creating the work be organically guided by your feelings and instincts as you create. This is the antithesis of the control and obsession of perfectionism. Focus instead on allowing the process to make the work its own. This is ultimate catharsis and expression. I said that perfectionism can be dangerous. Maybe you are a perfectionist in your artwork, but not in other areas of your life (you don’t mind being five minutes late but the horrors if you hit an A if it should have been an A#). I contend that if you adopt a method of perfectionism in your artwork, it will impact other areas of your life, starting with your self esteem. Create art work and fail to meet an impossible standard (we already agree that perfectionism is impossible) and you tell your psyche that you have failed. That you are not good enough. This will also discourage you from being creative- and creating is your life force! Let go of the idea that your work has to be a certain way, and accept it for the way that it is. Then watch as you gradually start to treat and accept yourself in this same way. We are not homogenous, our work is always different, and all that uniqueness in its IMPERFECTION is what makes you (dare I say it) perfect. Here is something to try. Of course, try it as part of your work in your therapy session (don’t exacerbate yourself without this extra layer of support!): I challenge you to do something imperfectly. Not organically, but intentionally “wrong.” In art school I was working on an assignment and drew a life-sized, anatomically perfect, human skeleton. Imagine my shock when my professor told me to take a piece of charcoal and blacken the whole piece out. I want you to do something like this. Make something and then make a big SNAFU. Now breathe. How do you feel? How does your body feel? What are you experiencing? Discomfort? Anger? Anxiety? Breathe through and experience the moment. You did it! You made something “imperfect” and you are ok! After I blackened out my drawing, my professor told me to “push and pull” lightening and darkening the smudges over the drawing, to create a brand new piece. Take your “messed up” work and create something new and different. What does the new piece want to be? Pay attention to your reaction to this new process. Do you feel freedom? Satisfaction? Possibility? This is how creating should feel! Come schedule a session and let’s talk about how you are impacted by perfectionism. Let’s get unstuck. Let’s get creatively free. Let’s create your best life. © 2017 Creatively, LLC A regular struggle for creative people is the creative block. Writers have writer’s blocks, painters have artistic blocks- we all have things that interfere with the flow of our creative energies. There are many reasons for creative blocks and they all impact us in different ways. In a previous blog post, we looked at using mindfulness to address a lack of inspiration. For the purpose of this exercise let’s examine some of the physical things that get in your way. In other words, what about the atmosphere of your daily life interferes with your ability to create?
What is your ideal creative time? What are you doing? Where are you working? What are you using? What do you hear, see, smell? Take a moment and envision the space. Envision the project. Are you making creative time part of your regular life? Most of us aren’t. We already know that creative people need to create like we need to eat and sleep. Why aren’t we prioritizing being creative? What are some of your barriers to creating? For many of us it is about time. We have full time jobs, we have families to care for, households to run, other priorities. For many of us it is about money. We have recurring expenses in our lives and can’t carve out extra for supplies. Sometimes it is about space. We live in a home where every room is already spoken for. Where are we supposed to create? On the kitchen table? Maybe! Often, a barrier is motivation and/or creative energy. The problem with a lack of creative energy and motivation is it is its own feedback loop: the less creative we are, the less creative energy we have, and vice versa. Where is a creative person to start to address all of these obstacles? An important part of therapy is basic problem solving. I say basic to emphasize fundamental more than simple- it is a first step but not an easy one. Go back to your vision of your perfectly spent creative time. Describe it. You can write about it, talk about it, draw about it, make a list- but do something to qualify it. Next, think about if you were to do something creative RIGHT NOW. What do you need? What is preventing you? Again, do something to document this. Put the “ideal” and the “real” creative time side by side. What are you lacking? Great! You have taken your first step to addressing your creative barriers. Now, let’s problem solve. If you have a list of differences from this exercise, prioritize them based on need. How critical are they to your creative time? Once they are prioritized, you will know what you need to accomplish first for regular creating to become a reality in your life. Don’t put this off! Accept that it is a basic need and something you will work towards in some way each day. If your first item from your list feels too monumental- break it down further. This is goal setting 101: you want to set yourself up to succeed, so set goals that are bite-sized and reachable. Of course, another vital part of this process is to get support. With my help you can get support in the form of therapy. Bring other healthy people in your life onboard as part of your process. Let’s work on this together and bring more creativity into your daily life! © 2017 Creatively, LLC Transference is a phenomena in psychology in which we project on people expectations and judgments based on past experiences. Sometimes it is age related, other times gender, it can be as simple as how someone looks or speaks, or something different altogether. It is something that, as counselors, we are very aware of and try to prepare for. Will we remind a patient of a significant other? An ex? A parent? A friend? Even though we know that you know that we are not that person, subconsciously, you may still treat us differently based on the transference. For example, I remind a child of an adult she doesn’t trust, so she is less likely to talk to me during session.
Transference is how you feel about me. Countertransference, is how I feel about you back. As human beings, of course we react to each other. You react to me based on your experiences and I react back to you based on mine. We both respond to our treatment of each other. Together, transference and countertransference can be both powerful tools or destructive forces in a therapeutic relationship. Transference and countertransference exist in more than just a therapeutic setting. They are clinical-speak for how we all react and interact to each other every day. My new boss reminds me of an old boss so I’m cautious. A new friend reminds you of a bad relationship so you take your time. There are endless occurrences in our daily lives. I had an employer in my college days who explained to me his “Mirror theory,” in which he believed that generally people feel about you the way you feel about them. Thinking about transference and countertransference, this may often be true! How do transference and countertransference apply to you as a creative person? Studies have shown that people are drawn to creative personalities. The unique ways of thinking and seeing the world that are innate to you, are attractive to others. This is a part of what draws people to your creative works as well. Additionally, research indicates that creative people, when in the presence of other creative people, can transfer creative energy to each other in a positive way. So we see that our judgements about others are natural and based on our experiences. In turn, these impact their experiences of us and our relationships together. Creatively, our personalities are exciting and magnetic, and a good way to recharge those creative batteries is to get together with other creative people. Creativity isn’t just what you do, it is who you are! The more you learn about your creative personality, the more you will begin to understand the healing and positive impact it has on you and those around you. It is how you live your best life! (c) 2017 CREATIVELY, LLC The more you repeat something, the more ownership you take of it. The more ownership you take of something, also known as the ownership effect, the more invested in and valued is that thing. This applies to new skills learned in therapy.
One of the most frequent things I hear from therapy patients about a new learned therapy skill, is that it “doesn’t work.” Very often, after more exploration, what I find is that the patient hasn’t tried the skill “enough.” They have tried it once, maybe even twice, but have not repeated it daily, let’s say, for a week or more, however long it might take for that skill to take effect. I will give you an example. Have you ever loaded the dishwasher, folded a towel, or done another chore so often, that you have your own way of doing it? Have you ever gone behind someone else, to “correct” them and fix it to your way? With that chore, you have repeated that behavior often enough that you feel ownership of it. So much so, that you feel invested in the way that it is done, and value it being done correctly. You may even get a feeling of pride or satisfaction from doing it. The ownership effect is a phenomena tried and true in psychological research, and is used throughout the world of health, marketing and even business. Have you ever worked for a company that offered you company shares as part of your compensation? They are hoping to take advantage of the ownership effect, to make you feel more emotionally invested in their company (if you “own” some of it, you will work harder for it!) As your therapist, I want you to similarly take ownership of, and feel emotionally invested in your life, and the tools you learn in session to create your happiest self. For you, this means repetition. When you learn a new skill, let’s say, meditation, you need to repeat it and practice it again and again until it feels like yours. Only then will the ownership switch flip in your brain, helping you feel invested in the tool. Then you will naturally use it in the best possible ways to improve your life. The bad news is: when you are learning something new in therapy there will be a curve, or a period of time during which you put yourself through the motions just for repetition’s sake. The good news is: after doing this enough, you will automatically begin to know how to best use and apply the tool and begin to organically see positive change in your life. So, dear creatives, when you get a new skill, try it, and try it again. Talk to during session about the difficulties you have with practicing the skill and fears you have about its benefit. Be patient with yourself as you learn, and prepare yourself to see the magic you can create in your own life! (c) 2017 Creatively, LLC |
get more from The Creativity CoursesLiking educational topics and knowing what's hot in creativity? Creatively has online courses, with an interactive creative community, coaching sessions and more in the Creativity Courses. Want these blogposts in a newsletter? Subscribe here, and get a free gift. Cindy Cisnerosis a Creativity Coach, Creative Therapist and Professional Artist in Sykesville, Maryland. She is an expert straddling the realms of arts, creativity research, psychology, therapy, and coaching. She provides Online Creativity Counseling in Maryland and Virginia, and Online Creativity Coaching throughout the USA, Canada and the UK tailored for the discerning, imaginative, artistic, and neurodiverse. The information provided in this blog is from my own clinical experiences and training. It is intended to supplement your clinical care. Never make major life changes before consulting with your treatment team. If you are unsure of your safety or wellbeing, do not hesitate to get help immediately.
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